Half of Germany is gripped by Oktoberfest fever. Reason enough for us to bring you an eleven of (Site notre bureau spécialisé) professionals who should never be missing at Oktoberfest. Guaranteed, with these names you will have a table in each tent and, with a little luck, a free meal on the house.

Ben Voll: Congratulations to the parents for this superb combination of names.

Eduardo Camaminga: Did you know that Minga means Munich in Bavarian? Now you know.

Eric Bier: An Englishman who plays in Bavaria and is roughly called Beer: If he’s not a glass machine, who is?

Ozan snuff: Of course, good “kabak” snuff cannot be missing at Oktoberfest.

David tap room: Light drinks taste much better than energy drinks, don’t they?

Robert Anstich: Please let the boy go to the keg first, so no beer will be wasted.

Jordan Hendlson: Before being put in the glass, half of the chicken must go into it.

Excessive palaces: Anyone who imitates Palacios too much without experience will quickly find themselves on vomit hill.

ThoMaß Müller: One oda two days, that would be it.

Marvin Gulchsch: Still down with that.

Nicolas Vollkrug: The West Ham striker seems to know the rules of Oktoberfest: tip big on the first round of beer, so the mug doesn’t stay empty for too long.

Coach Enrico InMaaßen is joined on the bench by Florian Wiesnwirtz and Xaver Schlager. We say: With this team there is definitely a Serhou Gaudirassy murder.